Like Goldilocks with her porridge that’s either “too hot” or “too cold,” women are often discussed in the same frivolous manner, as being too skinny, too fat, too promiscuous or too prudish. But while Goldilocks and the Three Bears is merely a fairytale, societal expectations on women are a harsh reality. Kacey Musgraves, in her song, “Follow Your Arrow,” rejects these paradoxical expectations and asserts that people should follow the path they desire, regardless of what anyone else has to say about it. 

Musgraves doesn’t bother dolling up her lyrics in metaphors and frilly lyricism, and instead opts for a straightforward assertion of how women are never enough. She starts the song by addressing the expectation that women have to simultaneously get drunk and have sex, but also not drink too much or have sex before marriage. This verse tackles the phallocentric mindset of the world, in which women are merely accessories for men and their sexual desires. 

She then addresses weight and body image expectations placed on women in the lines:

If you can’t lose the weight, then you’re just fat

But if you lose too much, then you’re on crack

This reminds me of “Health at Every Size,” which emphasizes that one should not focus on achieving a specific “ideal weight” but should instead appreciate the “wonderful diversity of body shapes, sizes and features,” (Burgard, 42).

Despite its directness, the song still has a lot to unpack between the lines. Not once does Musgraves address the song specifically to women, but any listener would assume she is through the societal  connotations of the words she uses. She says that society would call you a ‘prude’ for refusing a drink, and says that if you don’t save yourself for marriage you’re a horrible person. Though the official lyric is ‘horrible,’ Musgraves cleverly pronounces it as ‘whore-ibble’ to rhyme with bore. Both ‘prude’ and ‘whore’ are used almost exclusively to describe women. 

LGBTQ+ references are scattered throughout the song, touching on the intersections of being queer and a woman. For instance, Musgraves sings, “kiss lots of boys, or kiss lots of girls if that’s what you’re into.” She also sings, “When the straight and narrow gets a little too straight, roll up a joint,” which could also be a reference to break free from our heteronormative confines and to escape from our “little too straight” world. In the bridge of the song, she also sings the line, “love who you love,” which is a more straightforward reference to queerness. This intersectionality that Musgraves touches upon through these lyrics reminds me of Audre Lorde’s, “There is no Hierarchy of Oppressions,” where she writes that she “cannot afford the luxury of fighting one form of oppression only,” and that her identities will always be interwoven. While Musgraves sings some lines that can be applicable to all women, she also sings some that can only be applicable to queer women.

Musgraves brings up one more intersection when she talks about the issues women from religious households face in the lines, “If you don’t go to Church, you’ll go to Hell,” and “if you’re the first one on the front row you’re a self-righteous son of a-” Here she unpacks the stigma of being too religious and not being religious enough. She also sings the lines, “You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t, so might as well just do whatever you want,” to emphasize the point that women will be criticized regardless of what they do.

Kacey Musgraves has reshaped the conservative country music scene as a queer icon who is also religious. Most of her music has themes of self acceptance and love. 

It must be noted that though Musgraves is singing to all women in this song, she makes no distinction or specific mention of women of color, so Black Feminist Theory cannot be applied to analyze this song. 

Though mainstream media makes it hard for us women to believe, we will always be “just right” if we just follow our arrows as Kacey Musgraves tells us to.