For the dominant form of sexual orientation, heterosexuality sure looks disappointing. Consider the oft-referenced statistic that fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Another statistic, that one in six women in the U.S. experience rape, shows a troubling rate of violence within heterosexuality. Such troubling information indicates that received ideas that queerness is harder than straightness may be quite misguided (4). In The Tragedy of Heterosexuality, Jane Ward describes the contradictions inherent in straight culture, and provides a lesbian feminist perspective on how heterosexuality might become less problematic and more fulfilling for both women and men (4). Her book is a salient and strong argument for a reformation of straight culture to be more feminist.

Ward begins her book by situating it squarely in the scholarly conversation surrounding lesbian feminist critiques of heterosexuality (8). In chapter one of her book, she describes two observations queer feminists have made that show how heterosexuality is tragic: straight culture is patriarchal, and women have historically been unsuccessful in reforming the men in their lives to be more loving (8). Referencing ideas and discussions from important figures such as Audre Lorde and Cherríe Moraga, Ward illustrates the reality of heterosexuality as violent towards women and unwilling to change by incorporating feminist ideology. It is the fact that heterosexuality promises happiness for men and women, but so often results in misery for those who partake in it, which makes heterosexuality tragic (29). Ward provides her own insight into the conversation surrounding the tragedy of heterosexuality in two ways. Firstly, she describes the tragedy through in-depth looks at the self-help and seduction industries and conversations with queer friends (30-32). Second, she attempts to provide a way out of the tragedy: straight men can learn to truly like women (32). Her description of the scholarly conversation is thorough and convincing, and she offers an important contribution to the debate. By examining how the tragedy plays out and is perceived by queer observers, Ward provides insight into the tragedy that promises to make straight male readers uncomfortable and apologetic. By explaining how feminism can resolve heterosexual tragedy, she adds valuable new ideas to the discussion of what is wrong with heterosexual desire and offers a solution to straight males’ newfound disgust with themselves.

Ward’s main argument consists of two main conclusions. One is the observation that heterosexuality is problematic (172). In chapter two, Ward examines the historical reality of the misogyny paradox, in which men date women towards whom they have internalized hatred, and women date men who are abusive to them out of economic and social pressure (35). This problem is evidenced by the self-help industry, in which relationship coaches attempted to solve patriarchy and white supremacy by encouraging suffering women to work within these oppressions, acting as therapists for their men and changing themselves in order to appeal to men (61). For instance, in the early twentieth century, the Eugenics Publishing Company produced numerous self-help books praising marriages despite acknowledging that men were “violent, driven by instinct, and largely uninterested in women’s sexual pleasure,” showing how heterosexuality is rooted in racism and sexism (39-40). Furthermore, books as recent as 2004’s He’s Just Not That into You “reinforced the notion of a simple gender binary wherein straight women desperately grasp for men and straight men plod along with no logic, agency, or emotional depth whatsoever” (70). Clearly, heterosexuality has a problem when it is founded on, and cannot escape from, oppressive systems. 

In chapter three, Ward presents further support for her first conclusion by using the seduction industry to illustrate how heterosexuality appropriates feminism and race consciousness to serve men’s interests in objectifying women (111). For instance, straight men are taught by seduction coaches to be less creepy in order to achieve one night stands with young, attractive, blonde women (89). Indeed, this culture reinforces global patriarchy and white supremacy by painting a narrative that white women should be fetishized. Men from as far away as Bangladesh are drawn into this problematic “solution” to men’s problems with heterosexuality (108). If heterosexuality only pays lip service to ideal of equality while simultaneously reinforcing the marginalization of women and people of color, it cannot hope to help men and women understand and love each other.

Through a series of interviews with her queer friends in chapter four, Ward offers more support for her first conclusion by detailing how the tragedy of heterosexuality is a visible reality for outside observers (122). Queers find several issues with straight life, such as the praise straight men receive for the most basic attentiveness to their partner’s needs, demonstrating the incredibly low bar for straight men (132-133). Another aspect of straight life that queers find problematic is the inequality of straight sex, in which women’s pleasure or choice is an afterthought (151). Many other strong perspectives from numerous queer people exemplify deep problems with heterosexuality. When people who are outside of straight culture deem it problematic, the culture must be something that needs reform. Overall, Ward presents a forceful presentation of problems with straight culture. The self-help industry, the seduction industry, and outside perspectives from queers all expose heterosexuality as tragically patriarchal and white supremacist. Ward offers strong support for her argument with concrete examples, leaving no room for argument that heterosexuality is sustainable and ideal.

Ward’s second conclusion is found in chapter 5, where she offers her solution to the tragedy of heterosexuality. She argues that to fix the problems of straight culture, men “need to learn to like women” (158). For instance, men should feel in control of their heterosexuality, inextricably tying their desire for women to love and respect for the humanity of women (161). Furthermore, straight men should become “women identified” so as to be concerned with women’s liberation (169). By becoming true feminists, Ward argues, men can combat patriarchy and white supremacy, transforming heterosexuality into something that is actually fulfilling for men and women. Ward once again presents a strong argument. In terms of my personal experience, the only straight relationships I have observed that are happy and long-lasting are the ones in which spouses share equal respect for each other. When heterosexuality is problematic in its reinforcement of patriarchy and white supremacy, the solution to the problems is to convince straight men to be feminists and antiracists. 

Ward is Professor of Gender and Sexuality Studies at the University of California, Riverside, where she has authored other books like Not Gay: Sex between Straight White Men and Respectably Queer: Diversity Culture in LGBT Activist Organizations (207). She describes herself as a queer, femme, able-bodied scholar (7). Her position as a professor of gender studies means that she is highly qualified to write The Tragedy of Heterosexuality.

Ward uses numerous methodologies to present the arguments in her book. Her examination of the scholarly conversation in chapter one is a synthesis of lesbian feminist perspectives from the past fifty years (7). Her method of summarizing the scholarly conversation is useful, and deftly includes ideas from lesbian feminists of different races and time periods. In chapter two, Ward engages in a historical analysis of the self-help industry over time (30). Once again, she includes details on how the industry evolved over time and targeted race, making her method in this chapter comprehensive and inclusive. In chapter three, Ward conducts an ethnography of the seduction industry through interviews with coaches, watching videos, and attending presentations (31). This detailed examination of the industry is commendably thorough. In chapter four, Ward conducts social media interviews of her queer friends, providing an ethnography of her circle’s view of straight culture (120). By also including some perspectives from straight friends, Ward once again presents a thorough treatment of her subject matter. Finally, in chapter five, Ward presents an argument using lesbian feminist perspective (32). As she is offering a solution rather than examining a phenomenon in this chapter, her method of argumentation works well. Overall, Ward’s methodologies in her book wide-ranging and well done. Though she does not include every possible perspective, she does well in selecting the most important viewpoints. In doing so, she presents a concise and strong argument. 

The greatest strength of The Tragedy of Heterosexuality is that Ward provides an intersectional perspective. In her discussion of straight culture, she emphasizes how it is a force of both sexism and racism (110-111). Pointing out the doubly negative impact of heterosexuality on women of color is important, preventing the book from only focusing on white issues like Betty Friedan did. Furthermore, thinking from an intersectional perspective enables Ward to realize that heterosexuality can afford a rare privilege for women of color, who are so heavily marginalized through racism and sexism (157). Thinking intersectionally, she shows the importance of reforming straight culture: it currently exacerbates the problems of women of color, but can afford them important privileges if the culture becomes more feminist. Ward’s inclusion of racial perspective is a vital strength of her book, ensuring that it addresses the problems of all women.

However, there is one way in which Ward could improve her book, or toward which future discussion could orient. She neglects to discuss the impact of religion on heterosexual culture. Particularly in America, straight culture is shaped and driven by traditional Christian values. Many of the objections to gay marriage before it became legal appealed to the Bible’s claim that marriage must be between a man and a woman. In terms of heterosexuality, the Bible normalizes the patriarchy and praises submission and sacrifice in women. With the prevalence of Christianity in conservative circles of American politics and culture, an examination of heterosexuality is incomplete without mentioning the impact of religion. This religious perspective, then, is the major thing that Ward left out of her analysis.

The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward is an important and thought-provoking book. Through a wide range of methodologies exposing the inextricable ties between straight culture and the oppressive forces, Ward demonstrates a clear problem with straight culture. Her argument that straight men must become true feminists in order to make their relationships fulfilling and combat the patriarchy and white supremacy is an elegant solution to this problem. Any straight reader, particularly a white male, will find themselves feeling guilty and perhaps defensive upon reading this book. But, if they can make it to the end, they will find valuable advice on how to address the issues within their sexuality. Ward offers a fresh and useful perspective, and her new book should be read by any straight person who wishes to be happy.