During the height of second wave feminism in 1963, singer and composer Lesley Gore released her feminist anthem, “You Don’t Own Me”. As indicated by the title, Gore’s song is a call to men to stop trying to control women, as well as a sign of encouragement to women to live their lives the way they want to.

Gore sings, “I’m young and I love to be young/I’m free and I love to be free/To live my life the way I want”. She is claiming autonomy over her life, her body, and her choices as a young woman, as well as finding freedom from male control. This message is similarly echoed in Our Bodies, Ourselves (1973), which highlights the transformation of women being controlled by patriarchal and sexist societal roles to learning from one other and finding freedom in their shared experiences. Second wave feminism largely focused on women’s rights and equality, fighting against the expectation of women to follow the “rigid role of wife-and-motherhood from the moment [they are] born female” (Boston Women’s Health Book Collective 297). During the 1960s and 70s, many women felt freedom from this expectation as they learned other women did not desire pregnancy and had the power to “take control of [their] bodies and [their] bodies’ needs” (Boston Women’s Health Book Collective 296).

Gore advocates for this stance in “You Don’t Own Me” when she sings, “I’m not just one of your many toys” and “don’t tell me what to do/don’t tell me what to say”. She rejects the notion that men can treat their romantic partners as “toys,” signifying that she will not allow men to control her words and behaviors in her own life as they might control a toy in a game. Gore clearly refuses the traditional role of women as reproducing mothers and housewives when she says, “Don’t tie me down ‘cause I’d never stay”. Gore’s opposition to being tied down, perhaps to both one man and one role (being a housewife), is reflected in Betty Freidan’s The Feminine Mystique, also published in 1963. Friedan explains that housewives feel trapped due to the “chains in [their] own mind[s] and spirit[s]”, metaphorically tying them down to the incorrect belief that motherhood is all that life has to offer her (Friedan 277). Both Friedan and Gore encourage women to discover their needs, abilities, and passions, or as Gore sings, “just let me be myself” and “say and do whatever I please”.  

Furthermore, Gore instructs men: “And please, when I go out with you/Don’t put me on display”. Throughout history, women have been held to unrealistic standards of beauty. Gore does not want to be “displayed,” or boasted and shown off to other men based on her looks. She implies that this action not only ties her down but prevents her from being her most authentic self. Similarly, in Our Bodies, Ourselves, the authors assert that a woman cannot be her best self when “she drains her energy trying to change her face, her figure, her hair, her smells, to match some ideal norm set by magazines, movies, and TV” (Boston Women’s Health Book Collective 298).

It is important to consider how Gore frames several of her lines. Although she often uses commands, she does include “please” and “that’s all I ask of you” in her song. Her ask for permission from men to be herself slightly weakens this feminist message. “You Don’t Own Me” also focuses on heterosexual relationship, which Gore indicates when she sings, “Don’t say I can’t go with other boys”. Thus, her song may not appeal to the audience of women with diverse sexual orientations. This is quite interesting given that Lesley Gore was a lesbian herself (“Lesley Gore” Wikipedia). Regardless, Gore created a powerful, feminist song in the heat of second wave feminism that has remained popular to this day.