Real Men Clean? A husband in the household goes viral on TikTok.

Written by Jack Muldoon for Jezebel www.jezebel.com

Maya and Hunter Leppard are the social media duo whose recent day in the life series has launched them to star status. The videos displaying a wife doing her day job and her husband cooking, cleaning and other daily chores have allowed the couple to rack up just short of 500,000 followers.

The quickly-paced video has racked up just shy of 20 million views and over a million likes. It is just one in a series of viral videos in the same bane. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRGHLM9W/

The tone of the video may seem mocking at first, with the meme favorite Home Depot soundtrack playing in the background and #girlboss description, this short clip could be written off as another misogynistic joke about a wife’s expectations. It appears however that the roles in the house are for real, and while they certainly want the series to be a laughing matter, the joke does not lie in the wife and husbands’ roles in the house. The short video has Hunter completing household tasks that are often still viewed in many parts of society as feminine. Making the bed, cooking breakfast, and feeding the dog are somehow the highlights of a video with over a million likes. While the humorous commentary does have a part to play, it is the fact a man is completing these tasks while supporting his working wife that draws most of the attention.

 These videos claim to fame is a man doing mundane tasks that millions of people complete every day, and this was seen as undeserved by some commenters. They argued that there was nothing extraordinary about this video and that the completion of these tasks by men should be as normal as working a construction job. The people, however salty they may be that their daily life hasn’t made them famous, are absolutely correct. These commenters are likely missing the point of the video though. The goal was not to get famous from displaying how different their life is from the “normal”, but to dispel the idea of a normal straight relationship that many still hold. While society has moved past the 1950’s era of housewives, the notion that a husband supporting his wife’s career by taking care of the house is an oddity still persists. While the number of stay-at-home husbands has hit their highest numbers ever at 2.2 million in 2016, they still only account for 16% of stay-at-home spouses. (https://athomedad.org/advocacy/statistics-on-stay-at-home-dads/). Seeing women take a role in the household that was traditionally reserved for men could be a small part in dispelling incredibly harmful notions about gender that still linger in society. Exposure to these videos and other media displaying women as the breadwinners will undoubtedly signal to young girls that the concept of marriage does not mean they need to put goals to the side and hit a pause button on their careers. These videos do participate in the idea that women are the ones typically supporting their husband’s career by addressing the relationship is not what society normally expects. While this does play into the myth in some ways, and a woman being the breadwinner in media without it being discounted as odd may be better representation, I would argue that this video is a benefit because it provides young people with an exampling differing that held in the mainstream.

Other commenters prove that these genderless still have strong gendered connotations in society. The couple recently mocked commentators who claim that this dynamic is unnatural and that Maya’s and all women’s job in a straight relationship is to support their significant other. These comments are proving the theory that every action we take is gendered, even when we believe that we have progressed as a society to the point that cleaning is not associated with women, there will always be people who assign these roles and judge those who do not conform to their standards. This video series utilizes a new medium, TikTok to help disprove a harmful trope. Young people seeing a financially strong wife and a husband complete housework and will hopefully help in dispelling the mythos of the traditional straight marriage, and as the video says, smash the patriarchy that upholds these standards.

The most recent video in the series put Maya’s point of view center stage with a retitled “Day in the life of a working wife”. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRGH6JwV/

The societal pressure still lays on women to be the ones taking care of the house, but these viral videos and their “like to smash the patriarchy” slogan could be helping. With the massive viewing they have, these videos may offer a fun and upbeat alternative to the societal norm. Young girls can see Maya hard at work, pursuing her goals while maintaining a healthy relationship like a true #girlboss. Seeing these strong examples at a young age and in a lively video could provide a new option that opposes the gender norms children are being conditioned to accept. 

3 thoughts on “Real Men Clean? A husband in the household goes viral on TikTok.”

  1. Hey Jack! I love this media analysis, especially because it is a social media app that is so relevant and popular in our society and culture today! It definitely shows how society still expects women to stay home and take care of the house and kids while men do their day jobs. When you mention how “every action is gendered”, I feel like that is a big problem today and you found a perfect example from Tik Tok as you mentioned how the couple was getting attacked in their comment section. Overall, this analysis is something that was really intriguing.

  2. I really like your take on this. I had seen some videos similar to this on Tik Tok and always thought they were interesting. On the one hand, it’s nice to see a guy doing these kinds of things and it’s entertaining to watch him do them. I think simply because it is very rare to see a guy doing these things. But I had never really given them a chance until you talked about how the couple was making this video not as a political message but rather just to document their life and it make me appreciate the content so much more. I love that this straight couple is able to reverse the “typical” roles of the heterosexual relationship and be so content with that. Something we would have never seen even five years ago.

  3. Hi Jack! This is a wonderful media analysis, and thank you for sharing the TikTok videos with us. Upon reading your analysis, I was quite surprised by the statistic of 2.2 million stay-at-home husbands. I think it’s surprising to me because I’ve never met a heterosexual couple where the husband is at home while the wife is the breadwinner. I know a few heterosexual couples where both the husband and wife share the roles at home and as breadwinners. That said, I think our society still has a tendency to expect or pressure women to have children and to stay at home to raise them. While women are still constrained under social norms and 16% is a small proportion of stay-at-home husbands, it’s awesome to see how some people, including Maya and Hunter, are using their social media platform to dispel gendered beliefs and stereotypes.

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