Growing up my own mother was a stay-at-home mom and she worked incredibly hard. More importantly, she chose that lifestyle when she and my dad decided to have children. I am beyond grateful and extraordinarily privileged to have had a mother who was at home when I got home from school, around to take me to sports practices, and take care of me when I was sick.
One day when scrolling on Instagram, I was introduced to the term tradwife. On the left is a screenshot of a similar video, where a woman promoting to her followers to be guided by her actions, which were aimed at a more “traditional” view of what a woman should be doing.First of all, this post is pushing heteronormative ideology onto the following, assuming that a wife is dolling herself up for a husband. Language like “doll” is derogatory towards women, assuming that they need to alter their appearance just for their significant other. Additionally, assuming the husband is coming home from work emphasizes patriarchal societal standards.
According to Google, a “tradwife (a neologism for traditional wife or traditional housewife) is a woman who believes in and practices traditional gender roles and marriages.” Traditional refers to performing actions like women did in the 20th century, when they were seen primarily as caretakers and cooks for the family.
This view seems to be backwards from the modern 21st century view on what women are capable of doing both as mothers and as professionals. In no way do I think that it is bad or wrong to want to be a tradwife but, there is one issue I have with them and that is what the article The Surprising Convergence of Girlbosses and Tradwives aims to convey.
This article links the tradwife to the girlboss, which is a woman who is hyperfocused on her career. You might be asking how would a tradwife, a woman who is primarily taking care of her husband, children, and house, also be able to be a girlboss? Well, like my introduction to tradwives, many opt to film their tasks or thoughts and post them on social media. The article states that being a tradwife in modern society is nothing like the 20th century lifestyle.
“We might assume that tradwives hearken back to an earlier “backward” mode of femininity and marriage. But this way of being in the world is unmistakably modern because it involves “choice” and entrepreneurship. It is not enough for a tradwife to simply focus on her husband and kids, she must be entrepreneurial about it. She must blog about it, vlog about it, become an influencer. This is where the “girlboss” mentality comes in.”
(The Surprising Convergence of Girlbosses and Tradwives 2024)
The quote above highlights another aspect where modern tradwives are problematic. As soon as a tradwife becomes an influencer, her main objective has moved from caring for a family to influencing their following and pushing their ideals onto others. Because these women chose to utilize social media and display to the world their ideal way of life, they are using their influence as a powerful tool. They still attempt to attain the unrealistic beauty standards that are concurrent with the “backward” mode of femininity, yet they feel the need to post about it on social media as well. Social media tradwives, like the one in the screenshot before, preach putting family above all else, but at what point does the necessity to cater to a following dictate the actions of an influencer? Moreover, the need to both be entrepreneurs and caretakers and mothers takes away crucial time and energy necessary for each role. Being a social media influencer takes the demands of a full-time job by having to record, re-record, edit videos, brainstorm new ideas, etc. To balance those demands with the already strenuous lifestyle of taking care of a family is counterproductive.
I think that this article is a great read for those that care about the portrayals and standards of women in modern society. It highlights the backwards thinking of social media tradwives, who inherently believe in strong family centric and patriarchal values, but still feel compelled to post their lifestyle on social media. The article dives further into the reasons many women have to become tradwives, especially for women of color. The article cites black tradwives as saying, “we have decided it’s way too exhausting to run the family and corporate America at the same time” (Girlbosses and Tradwives 2024). There is definitely truth to this statement, especially since women of color are valued less in the labor market. For these women, who are paid less and discriminated against in the corporate workplace, the appeal to live as a tradwife is apparent.
Overall, the overlap between tradwife and girlboss is a real phenomenon in the modern age of social media. But when and where is the blurry line drawn between the two labels and at what point do the goals of and priorities of one overtake the other?