The HBO series Euphoria often comes up in discussions about contemporary representations of queerness, specifically trans representation, because one of the main characters, Jules, is a trans character played by a trans actress named Hunter Schafer. Jules is one of the few characters I have seen on screen who is a trans person played by a trans actor/actress, instead of a cis person playing someone who is trans or vice versa, so I think that her character deserves all of the recognition she receives. However, the aspect of the show I want to focus on, which is actually intertwined with Jules and her plotline, is the strain of toxic masculinity surrounding queerness that we see portrayed by the Jacobs family: Nate Jacobs and his father, Cal. 

First, Nate. Nate Jacobs is, I think, one of the most complicated characters in the entire show. Upon encountering him for the first time, it’s easy to assume that he is a typical straight man – he is in a hetero relationship with a girl named Maddy, and his preferences in women are detailed, extremely hetero-normative, and in alignment with the typical female beauty standard; slim shoulders, painted nails, full lips, high heels, lack of body hair, et cetera. However, there are aspects of Nate’s sexuality that are hidden from most of the people in his life. Maddy, his girlfriend, finds several explicit photos of male genitalia on his phone, and he also uses a gay dating app where he starts an online relationship with Jules towards the beginning of season one. He uses a pseudonym, “Tyler,” while knowing Jules’ true identity, and Jules sends him nude photographs of herself. 

Jules also has sexual relations with Cal, Nate’s dad, in season one, episode one of the show. She told him she was older than she was and he secretly filmed their encounter. When she and Nate finally meet in person two episodes later, Nate blackmails Jules with the nude photos she had sent him, telling her not to tell anyone both about his dad and about their relationship. He is also very aggressive towards her, almost as if his attraction for her angers him because he doesn’t view her as a “real” woman. Jules tells him, “I think you’re a f***ing f*ggot, just like your daddy,” which he responds to by grabbing and yanking on her hair and then storming off.

The above photo is Nate and Jules. This is the scene where Nate reveals his true identity to Jules and blackmails her, and you can see that she’s crying (season 1, episode 4).

This brings us to Cal Jacobs. In season 2 of the show, the writers delve into Cal’s backstory; most importantly, his relationship with his high school best friend, Derek. Derek and Cal are both on the wrestling team, they spend every day together, and Cal feels like he can “talk to Derek about anything,” or “just sit in silence. They were that close.” On one of the last nights of the summer before they go to college, Derek insists they spend one more fun night together, just the two of them. They drive together to a bar out of town, which has mostly male patrons. Cal notices one of them touch another on the shoulder, and he and Derek down three shots each. Derek then puts a song on the jukebox, “Never Tear Us Apart” by INXS, and they start dancing. It’s friendly and performative at first, but as the song goes on, Derek pulls Cal into a hug, then looks into his eyes and kisses him. They hold each other and we see that Cal is crying. 

The lyrics of the song that’s playing are “Don’t ask me what you know is true – don’t have to tell you, I love your precious heart.”  I think this represents how Cal and Derek feel about each other; there is an unspoken love and mutual understanding between them, and they matter to each other more than anyone else in the world. However, they both feel the pressures of a heteronormative world and they know they can never be together. In the culture of sports, in their families, and during that time (the 1980s), there is an immense amount of pressure to conform to the standard of a straight, cis man who doesn’t often show his emotions. As they embrace, Cal is crying and he nods to Derek, as if to acknowledge the strength of their love but also to acknowledge that there is no way for them to actually be together. 

Later on, in the present day, Cal drives out of town again, very intoxicated, listening to INXS again to remind him of that night many years ago. He returns to the same bar, and heartbreakingly imagines himself dancing with Derek like he did back in high school. 

Present day Cal (on the right) imagining himself dancing with young Derek (on the left). (season 2, episode 4)

There are a lot of parallels between Nate and Cal and their struggles with their sexualities. Nate also plays sports and there are scenes of both of them in locker rooms trying not to look at their male teammates’ bodies, out of shame. The gay bar that Cal returns to is cowboy-themed, and there is a scene of him staring at a mural on the outside of several men in cowboy attire. During one of the scenes in season two, Nate puts on “Dead of Night” by Orville Peck as he drives, an artist who is often referenced as a part of the “gay cowboy” scene. The lyrics of this song are “see the boys as they walk on by, it’s enough to make a young man…” And finally, they both have ties to Jules, who is, of course, a woman, but neither Nate nor his dad view her as a “real woman” because of her transness. Nate’s attraction to Jules causes him a lot of shame. This is possibly why he prescribes himself a long mental checklist of the things he likes and dislikes in women; he is trying to overcome his queerness by forcing himself to conform to the typical standards of a straight man. 

I think that this show is valuable for examining the effects that toxic masculinity and pervasive homophobia can have on men, and also how this dynamic can play out intergenerationally. It is probably true that Nate’s character wouldn’t be so angry or messed up if his dad had been more loving and accepting of him, and if he hadn’t known about his dad’s sexual exploits outside of his marriage. I think both of these characters are extremely toxic and that their actions throughout the show have terrible implications and consequences, but I also think that it was wise of the writers to give some explanation as to why both of them turned out the way they did. We are all products of the societies we are born into and the environment in which we are raised, and understanding this can help to break down and dismantle the effects of toxic masculinity on boys and men and the people around them.