I am a huge Mitski fan and think that her song Me and My Husband offers an interesting commentary on traditional gender roles within a marriage, through a fictional narrative of a devoted wife who derives her self-worth from her relationship with her husband. The lyrics are as follows:

“But me and my husband

We’re doing better

It’s always been just him and me

Together

So I bet all I have on that

Furrowed brow

And at least in this lifetime

We’re sticking together

Me and my husband

We’re sticking together

And I am the idiot with the painted face

In the corner, taking up space

But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved

…

So I bet all I have on that

Furrowed brow

And at least in this lifetime

We’re sticking together”

The narrative voice in this song is a woman who adopts a very “stand by your man attitude;” this perspective was praised as the domestic ideal for women, especially in the mid-century United States. The lyrics “we’re doing better…. and at least in this lifetime we are sticking together” indicate that the narrator and her husband faced adversity within their marriage, but the wife made the conscious decision to preserve the relationship, even if just to protect the couple’s public image. The description of the wife as “an idiot with the painted face” also indicates that the wife has been disrespected by her husband, either through infidelity or otherwise. However, she describes how the hardship is worth it because she feels validated when her husband enters the room. This assertion is supported by the lyric stating that “when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved.” This quote indicates that the narrator feels recognized only when her husband gives her attention. This dependency upon her husband, and the apparent risks at stake if she were to end the relationship, reminds me of our conversations in class about housewives’ roles in the 1950s and 1960s. In this time, it was impossible for a woman to have control over her own finances without the support of a male relative or husband. Although this song is not a direct reference to this historical era, or the discriminatory policies against women at that time, the narrator in this song appears similarly stuck and dependent on her husband for both external validation and general security. To me, this song is very reminiscent of the relationship between Jackie O and JFK, or other similar celebrity relationships where the wife was aware of infidelity, but chose to remain in the marriage to preserve the public image and maintain her loyalty to her husband.